


Happy birthday to you

by YuuseiHer



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: All the characters are just mentioned except Atsumu, Angst, Bitterness, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Repressed, Future Fic, Happy Birthday Atsumu Miya, Happy Birthday Atsumu Miya 2020, Hurt No Comfort, Internal Monologue, Loneliness, Sad Birthday, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuuseiHer/pseuds/YuuseiHer
Summary: What was he doing?The day felt particularly painful, empty and bitter. Atsumu hit the volleyball hard against the wall and sighed. What the fuck did he was doing? Why the fuck was he hitting the ball? He didn’t know, but the touch of the ball against the palm of his hand itches, and it was the only thing he counted on that moment, where everything felt peculiarly sore and lonely.But, at the end of the day, someone has to sing "Happy birthday to you..."
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou & Miya Atsumu & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Kita Shinsuke & Miya Atsumu, Miya Atsumu & Inarizaki Volleyball Club, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Suna Rintarou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 76





	Happy birthday to you

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hey, hey! It's me jsjs I rhymed, well, hi! I'm doing this fic for Atsumu's (late) birthday, it's my present for him...Present that I publish until today jaja. It's one of my first fanfics in English, so I'm sorry if you don't found it very...Concise (?) Also, I want to thanks Haro for helping me with the beta ;A; ah, without her, I wouldn't publish this, really thanks, Haro!
> 
> This fic is situated in the time of Atsumu's first year with MSBY, so, Shouyou is not there yet.
> 
> All credits to Haruichi Furudate, I just used his characters.
> 
> If you want to comment, give kudos, bookmarks and/or share I'll be very happy! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you like it as much I loved to write it!

What was he doing?

The day felt particularly painful, empty and bitter. Atsumu hit the volleyball hard against the wall and sighed. What the fuck did he was doing? Why the fuck was he hitting the ball? He didn’t know, but the touch of the ball against the palm of his hand itches, and it was the only thing he counted on that moment, where everything felt peculiarly sore and lonely.

He always remembered celebrating twice. There were always a pair of candles and cakes, and plates of super heroes, volleyballs, balloons and gifts— it didn’t matter which celebration it was. Even if it wasn’t his tooth that fell out, the tooth fairy always gave him a coin.

He doesn’t remember a day where he felt so incomplete— he hugged his legs and sat on the cold, hard floor of his room with several unpacked boxes that, in that moment, only counted as decoration. Clothes were scattered on the floor. A few ones hanging in the improvised coat rack for a while now and in his training bag, another set of sweaty clothes from training that has been left untouched.

There was not a cake, candle or gift on sight, and if there were, even with those essential elements that day, what made him believe that by returning home, there would be two cakes with more than thirty candles in total? If anything, he would probably be greeted by miserable crickets waiting for his arrival.

Atsumu hugged his legs tighter and started to cry all the feelings he kept for himself, recalling events that had transpired.

When he couldn’t cry in the bullet train months ago...

When he couldn’t cry in the first video call with the person he listed as Favourite in his contacts...

When he couldn’t scream as he closed the door of the room when he arrived.

It hurts to remember— the fact that he was now in Osaka, a place so far from Kita-san, Aran, Suna, his parents... And Osamu.

He didn’t think it would hurt this much to leave his hometown, the very place he was growing sick of during his teenage years but there he was, in his room, hugging his legs in solitude as he cried. This wasn’t how it’s supposed to be.

That day would start with Osamu waking him up to go to morning practice, their mother giving them extra pudding as part of his special breakfast along with their special bentos that contained their favorite food.

Both of them would go to Inarizaki, where he and ‘Samu would receive tons of gifts... He would also hear whispers from the girls, telling each other it was his birthday but none of them really had the courage to congratulate him, thinking that it would just bother him.

The twins would eat their bentos together with Suna, who in turn, would take selfies with both of them, especially Osamu, his boyfriend, then the rest of the classes and finally after practice, where he’d celebrate with all the regulars of the club.

Kita would hug them both and give something that he and his granny made for them. Aran would give them a cake with double the amount of candles. Everybody else would give a present for each one and, in the end, their faces would be thrown into the cake while Suna recorded everything in his phone.

But now…

He was crying on the cold floor of a room that felt so big that it was beginning to suffocate him.

He didn’t have a special bento, extra pudding or a cake with more than thirty candles. Not anymore.

He never went to school and… Osamu never woke him up to say “Happy Birthday” like every other year since they started talking.

He woke up thanks to the sound of Sakusa’s hair dryer, Bokuto’s screams and the light that hit his face as he slept on his futon. His breakfast were leftovers from yesterday’s meal and no pudding in sight, much less a bento with his favorite food.

He went to practice with his roommates and returned home alone because they had things to do.

There wasn’t a hug from his ex-captain, no cake, selfie or whispers. There was nothing but the numbness of ordinary daily life. The fifth of October meant nothing to anyone and… it hurt a lot but, what hurt the most was the fact that he was really alone.

There wasn’t a reliable figure who shared the same face, almost the same height, with a few more pounds than him, on his side anymore.

There wasn’t a shadow that always accompanied him. The other half, who took his hand whenever they got lost or when he was afraid of something but didn’t want to admit. The guy with whom he shared room with since the moment they were born.

The day was supposed to be the Miya twin’s birthday but Atsumu felt that it wasn’t anyone’s birthday at all.

He felt terribly empty and alone in the big city, south of Japan, where all he could do was hug his shaking legs from the reality of what it meant to be an independent adult… And hated.

At that point in his life, he knew that Sakusa disliked him, no one at school had really approached him as a friend and he knew that Bokuto, although he was always a bright star with a big smile, deep inside, detested him like everyone else.

He never was the popular one for a good reason; he was always the foul-mouthed one, the filthy pig that everyone hated for being tactless, because he only focused on volleyball and didn’t measure his words, because the only thing he cared about was on the court and no more; because he was so greedy that everyone who wasn’t avaricious, automatically was nothing in his eyes.

Because the only blessing he was born with was Osamu.

And now that he isn’t with him anymore, what was left?

Osamu was the bright side of Yin Yang although looking at it now, it was incomplete.

He was the dark part that kept everything in balance. He was the evil in goodness, the darkness in light. The insensible, lazy, liar and food-stealing bastard after a hard working, honest and courteous Osamu.

Was there really something to celebrate that day?

Only he would celebrate a day in the year where he was closer to death, to his retirement from volleyball, to his senescence. Another day closer to losing the only thing he loved as his body kept rusting, deteriorating... and one day, his body would say “Enough!” when he couldn’t reach out to place the ball anymore.

He deserved to be alone in the city, without a cake and extra candles.

He deserved all of it but still, it almost hurt as much as when the ball fell from his side of the net, announcing that the game had ended with a loss on his part.

It hurt as much as to say “goodbye” to the other part of him that stayed studying gastronomy to be a successful man, to fulfill his dreams honestly, while he… He went to another city, not even another prefecture, because he was afraid of it- signing a contract with a first league team to do the only thing he was good at, the only thing he did well and shone, the only thing where he was the bright side in the darkness he represented.

His hands were white due to the force of when he squeezed his legs, his arms trembled with helplessness at the truth that he tried to ignore for so long but, in that moment, it hit him harder than Bokuto’s shot.

The irrefutable reality from which he could no longer escape.

He was alone and had no one to celebrate with, a day which sentenced him a year closer to the end than the beginning.

The worst is that he knew he deserved it— that at some point it would happen, but he never believed it would be so soon. In his teenage years he believed that he could eat the world in small bites but… Reality was more painfully different than he imagined.

He devoured the world so fast that now there weren’t even crumbs of the world that he once had in his hands and saw as a small ball in which he played.

He was a foul-mouthed pig with more ego and greed than hair dye. Thirsty for more, with a scorching fire that over time only increased to the point of burning anyone who approached it.. but what good was all that “talent”? His entire ambition during his senior year of high school if he couldn’t be the best setter in Japan…

He always heard his mother tell him that if he continued like this, someday he’ll be alone, but he believed that they were pure fallacies, meaningless scolds to make his poor attitude towards others improve. However, there he was, crying, trembling in the darkness of his cold and desolate room.

It was naïve in his part to believe that Osamu would always be by his side, that no matter how horrible, late, lazy or tactless he was, Osamu would be the only constant in his life with volleyball.

How foolish of him! Nothing more than a sample of how immature he was until that moment, where life scored the set point and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

If only he could be more polite, less rude and arrogant, maybe at the moment he would be celebrating his birthday with someone but reality wasn’t like that.

He was just there, sobbing for a past that he couldn’t erase, for memories that he didn’t need but it marked him like red-hot iron on his skin, becoming more painful with each minute that passed and with each message that he didn’t receive; only the greetings of his brother, his parents and Kita-san.

There weren’t more than four measly messages in his inbox. He had more fingers in his hand than congratulations on his social networks; but he sculpted the path and now he has nothing left to do but walk with his head up, trying to forget everything along his path as not to carry those memories that never were, and with those bitter ones that painfully passed.

He definitely didn’t need the memories.

The blond sighed softly after one last painful sob and smiled bitterly when he saw the knitted sweater Kita-san and his granny sent him as a present that year, singing with a broken voice for himself— a song he always heard everyone sing but never vocalized until this moment and felt so strange to articulate.

“Happy birthday, Atsumu… Happy birthday to you…”

**Author's Note:**

> I have twitter, you can found me as @akira_dazai but it's a +18 account, sorry if you're a minor but you can see some other works I have that aren't r18!  
> Also, I mainly write in Spanish, so, if you read in Spanish, I have a page on facebook! You can like it too uwu  
> https://www.facebook.com/YuuseiHer


End file.
